Saturday, December 10, 2011

Dream, starring Ewan MacGregor, Cate Blanchett, Stanley Tucci and Will Ferrell

What the hell do you want with us, Will Ferrell's hologram?

I am part of a large group of people living in a strange, arcology-like tower, locked up from the outside world. However, looking out of the window of the tower, we can see the city around us crumbling and turning orange, as if the buildings themselves were rotting away.

All I know about the tower is that it is rehab for some kind of addiction or condition, and that I, until recently, suffered from it. This is the reason that myself and the other inhabitants of the tower are kept separate from other people.

In this dream I am played by Ewan MacGregor, using his fake Southern accent from the movies Big Fish and I Love You Philip Morris. I'm not sure why this is. In one dream I had some time ago I was played by John Leguizamo, which is possibly slightly more accurate. Among my compatriots was a slightly debauched woman, played by Cate Blanchett, who was sexually excited by the thought of society disintegrating. And since society was disintegrating, she spent most of her time in a heightened state of arousal. Our other companion was a German athiest cop played by Stanley Tucci.

The overseer of this facility was our psychiatrist, played by Will Ferrell. He was only present in the form of a hologram. In addition to giving one-on-one counselling sessions to the inhabitants of the tower, he also gave daily pep talks in which he told us nice things, such as we were all progressing well, and our reintegration into society would take place soon.

Stanley Tucci and me, and a couple of others would get together and have drinks. Stanley Tucci kept bemoaning "the Christers" who required religion to help them get over their terrible affliction. He liked me because he thought I shared his beliefs. Together we hung out at the tower's rooftop swimming pool. We watched in severe shock as Cate Blanchett, floating on a lilo in the water and looking out at the decomposing landscape, could contain herself no longer and began gratifying herself with escalating fury.

OK, I started to think. Maybe people here are, in fact, crazy.

The next morning, we gathered for another of Will Ferrell's pep talks. We all gathered in the spotless kitchen, where his hologram appeared and began speaking in tones pleasing to our ears. But this morning I could hear something beind his words. I navigated myself into the corner of the room, and it was like I was peering behind his hologram. There was another projection behind it, and it was telling us we were useless, and dirty, and we were never going to get out. Ferrell was messing with our heads. What sort of freakish experiment were we living in? This moment of chilling realisation was when I woke up.

This dream is exceptional for a few reasons:
1) It is the first entirely Hollwood-cast dream I have ever had.
2) There appears to be some pretty significant backstory in it. In that respect it is similar to my vampire dream a few weeks back. Has given me an idea for a short story.
3) Stanley Tucci's performance was rock-solid.
4) Not many people can say they've seen Cate Blanchett vigorously pleasing herself. In a way, I have come closer than most. Let's face it though, if this dream was a real movie, then she would never have signed up in the first place.
5) Will Ferrell was actually quite frightening as the tyrannical shrink. If only he had that sort of depth in real life.

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